The whole working vs. staying at home topic has been weighing on my mind lately because Adriana is in daycare this month. I am CRAZY LUCKY in that I have the best parents ever, and they watch Adriana 4 days a week (we pay another family member to watch her the 5th day). However, they decided to migrate to Florida for 5 weeks (who can blame them, Ohio is awful in the winter). Adriana’s other babysitter decided late in the game that she didn’t want to watch her, and we were left scrambling for a spot in a daycare. Only one of the many nearby daycares had an opening, and it’s not necessarily the one I would have chosen if all of the options were available. Sigh.
One of the hardest things for me is giving up control of any situation, much less the care of my child. Even when my parents first started watching Adriana, I would constantly cringe because they weren’t doing things MY way. I’d like to think I’m a little better about this now that she’s not a tiny newborn anymore, but it’s still hard. She comes home super thirsty after daycare, and it kills me that no matter how many time I tell them that she needs more to drink, I can’t MAKE IT HAPPEN. She is still getting used to napping on their schedule instead of hers, and it kills me that they keep her up longer when she’s rubbing her eyes and asking to go “na na”. Not to mention that their crazy lunch schedule (10:30 am – WTF????) has her starving by the time I pick her up. She chants “eat, eat, eat” the whole way home, signing frantically with her chubby little fingers.
Obviously I just need to trust that the people who take care of her will listen to my instructions and pay a little closer attention to her needs, but by the time we build that trust, it will be time for her to go back to Grandma and Grandpa’s.
I knew going into the daycare situation that I’d have the control issue, but an unexpected side effect has been the feeling that I am being judged. I keep wondering if they notice if Adriana skips a bath that day, or has boogies, or is wearing a shirt that’s a bit too snug. She also has this one REALLY EMBARRASSING habit that has to leave the daycare teachers clucking in disapproval.
A few months ago, Adriana got this evil virus that resulted in barfing and the nastiest diarrhea I have ever seen in my life. She got really bad diaper rash, to the point that she’d sob and sob when it was time to change her diaper, even if it was just wet. The only thing that calmed her down was when I told her I wasn’t going to wipe, I’d just “pat, pat, pat”. This stuck in her little toddler brain, and now, EVERY SINGLE DIAPER CHANGE, she slaps her lady bits and says “pat, pat, pat”. I have NO IDEA how to get her to stop doing this. Most of the time, I firmly say “no touch” and move her hand.
Can you imagine what they must be thinking when they change her? Should I say something to them, or just ignore the situation and let them think whatever they want? So, so, so embarrassing.