Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The MIL Saga: Part 6 - The Drama Never Ends

So, it turns out that months of silence doesn't mean it's all over. If you need some history, Click here for Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, and Part 5.

After the last update, we didn't hear from MIL until Mother's Day. She actually texted Justin that she was busy or out or town or something, "don't call me, I'll call you". She texted Happy Mother's day to me too, which was nice, but didn't acknowledge the fact that I had mailed her a card full of Adriana's 18 month pictures.

Shockingly, she never called him after that. He sent her a text and then posted another cute Adriana pic on her facebook page, but that was it.

MIL's side of the family only gets together once a year, on 4th of July. We actually heard from her several times in the weeks before the celebration: once, to let us know she was having surgery, but didn't want us to visit; once because she saw on Justin's Facebook that he was having surgery and she wanted the details so she could visit (which effectively meant that she'd be sitting in the waiting room all day with ME, so I asked him to say no); and once to drop off our Christmas presents.

The latter was SUPER AWKWARD, because I happened to be home for a cable appointment, and Justin didn't tell either one of us that the other would be there. I was so surprised that I didn't even remember to tell her to get her crap out of the breezeway. And of course, she put me on the spot about whether or not we were going to 4th of July. Justin had told her no, since his surgery was the 30th and he would still be recovering, but of course she wanted me to bring Adriana without him. I politely told her I'd be spending the 4th with my family, since I hadn't been able to do that in the 5 years I've been with Justin.

The next couple of weeks were spent with MIL and Justin texting back and forth, because she wanted to fix things. However, she got super mad at him a couple of times because he couldn't meet when and where she wanted to. That's right, she doesn't want to meet at our house, even if I'm not there. "Call it a mother's desire." Whatever.

Since then, MIL has taken any reference to Justin and I out of her Facebook profile, yet kept us as friends (it used to say something about being grateful for an amazing son and a fabulous, down to earth daughter in law). Yay for passive aggressiveness.

Speaking of Facebook, I am thinking about temporarily blocking MIL and two of Justin's aunts from status updates so she doesn't turn up until the baby has been out of my body for a few hours (we were planning on posting to let our friends know I'm in L&D and again right after the baby is born). I don't want any of the drama to affect Kid B's birth, I just want happy memories. Thoughts?

I am now officially over this whole situation. I think it's really crappy that she clearly thinks that I am the problem, despite the NUMEROUS times I have actually stuck up for her and her craziness and encouraged hubs to work it out. I hate that things got to where they are, but no longer have any desire to fix it.

*Upon re-reading this, I am struck by the fact that Justin and MIL communicate almost exclusively via text and Facebook. Is this bizarre, or is it just me?

1 comment:

Brenna said...

In my book, you're a saint for all the effort you've already given. She sounds a lot like my MIL, in that a reasonable compromise will not satisfy her. It must be exactly what she wants to happen, and when , where, how, etc. or it's not good enough.

I do not communicate with my MIL except in person. On FB, I've preemptively blocked my MIL's email address and every permutation of her various names (she's on her fourth marriage) that I could think of. I'm also searchable only by email address, and she doesn't know the address that I used. I would delete my FB account before I would ever have her as my friend, so I think its perfectly reasonable to block her and the others so she doesn't crash your birth.