Thursday, October 20, 2011

The MIL Saga: Part 7 - A New Beginning (I Think?)

If you haven't been keeping up with the MIL drama, you can catch up by reading Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, and Part 6. Or you can skip it and just assume there has been a lot of tension and passive aggressiveness from all parties involved.

So, I don't remember if I wrote about it here or not, but I was stressing out around the end of my third trimester because I didn't want the MIL to be there while I was in labor with Lucy. The hubs and I decided that we would call her to let her know I was in labor, but we asked that she didn't come visit until after Lucy was here. This plan actually applied to everyone on all three sides of my family with the exception of my mom and dad, since I wanted them there and felt like they were the only people besides Justin who would not annoy me. Justin communicated this to his mom, and we all went on our merry way.

Come birthing time, we followed this plan, texting MIL to let her know we were at the hospital, and calling her minutes after Lucy was born to give the deets. Justin ended up leaving her a voice mail, since she didn't answer her phone. He called or texted her something like four times that day, and sent her another text after we left the hospital after just 24 hours, so she didn't show up to an empty room.

This was all in vain, seeing as how she didn't come to see Lucy until she was two months old.


MIL called Justin last week to set up a visit. We decided to just go ahead and let her come, but to not go to any extra trouble to make the house sparkle or to have plenty of food to offer. In fact, we limited the visit to two hours since we had to attend my dad's birthday party later that day.

When she first came through the door, Adriana ran away, buried her head in my neck, and wouldn't talk to MIL or SFIL (which secretly delighted me to no end). MIL actually acknowledged that this was "probably her fault" since she hadn't been around. This was the only mention the entire time of the weirdness or tension that has occurred over the last year. Keep in mind, this was the first time our families saw each other since last THANKSGIVING.

Adriana did end up warming up to them, and things went rather smoothly. The only hitch was when MIL gave us her health update, and said that she felt amazing and "actually felt like herself for the past two months". I watched Justin bristle at the unapologetic admission that she was feeling fine yet still missed the first two months of Lucy's life. To his credit, he kept his mouth shut and now Adriana has her first good memory of time spent with MIL and SFIL.

So, it appears that the drama has ended without any of us really talking about it. The new game plan is to simply accommodate MIL when she sees fit to visit, but not to go to any great lengths to impress her, and not to get overly upset when she disappoints us. Hopefully this works for us, and this is the last time I write about her.


d e v a n said...

gah! Well, I'm glad it went pretty well, even though... 2months? gah!

Mama Bub said...

Well this is... good news? Man, as someone who deals with a fair amount of MIL drama myself, I can understand how a fairly uneventful visit seems like a WIN!