In my last post, which I'm not going to link to because it's just SAD and DEPRESSING (sorry to keep it at the top for so long), I alluded to the fact that we were having some issues with daycare.
Adriana started daycare a year ago, when my parents took a month-long trip to Florida. We needed someone who was okay with taking her on short notice for just a month, with no commitment to continue once my parents came back. We basically ended up with the only daycare that was willing to accept her, so I pretty much overlooked issues I blogged about waaaaaaaay back here and here. When my parents got back, it was decided that she would stay in daycare once a week. I called around to find a place closer to work, but no one was willing to take her just one day, and to be flexible if we had to change the schedule depending on what was going on with my parents. And they all had RIDICULOUS waiting lists.
Overall, I've been pretty happy with the place. It's definitely clean, and they seem to follow all of the ratios closely. Adriana was quickly moved to the 18 month room, where she had a teacher that we both LOVED (and who paid attention to my concerns about the fluids and the unhealthy menu choices). Around the time Lucy was born, Adriana moved to the 2 year old room, and started going to daycare 2 days a week. Her teacher is super shy so I never felt very informed about how it was going, but Adriana started talking enough that I was getting a pretty decent idea of what her day was like.
However, all of that talking was almost a bit too much. Adriana started practically abusing her doll, laying it face down, putting the blanket over her head, and "patting" (beating!) her while yelling at her to go to sleep. At first it was kind of cute, but then some of the things she was saying made me think that some of the teachers there are mean to the kids.
Then, just in time for my parents to leave on their second month-long trip (meaning, now BOTH girls are in daycare full time, which breaks my heart for Lucy), two things happened in the same day. First, I went in and talked to Adriana's teacher about her binky. I told her that she hadn't used it at night for a few days, and asked how they normally transition them off for naps. She said she had no idea Adriana even had one, and that she never used one.
This pissed me off for several reasons. First, Adriana sleeps like shit at daycare, frequently skipping naps entirely and then acting like a holy terror at night. NO WONDER - they weren't giving her a binky! And I'm SURE that she asked for it. There were TWO in her cubby, both of which I made a big production about because her original one got lost when she moved into this room. There is NO WAY the teacher didn't know she had them. So basically daycare has been fucking with her nap schedule since August, likely because the teacher chooses to transition kids off them without parental consent so she doesn't have to deal with it.
I was running late to work, so I just sighed and left. I thought about calling and talking about it, but at the same time, the damage has already been done. I wanted her transitioned off, and she was transitioned off.
That night, I was driving Adriana home and we were going through our nightly ritual of talking about her day. She told me about how she went to the office with Miss Megan, and she played with Kate and Noah, and Miss Kyra pinched her. Insert record screeching noise here. Miss Kyra [a floater, not her actual teacher] did what now? She pinched me. In my back and I cried. I called the daycare immediately and reported the incident to the assistant director, who said she would confront the teacher about it. I was so mad I didn't even think to talk about the stupid binky.
We went home and started to eat, and I made a video of Adriana talking about how she was pinched and pointing to the area. I didn't check to see if there was a mark, because it didn't occur to me that there would be one. My parents told me to look when I talked to them on the phone about it, and I said I would when I changed her into her jammies later. But then we got the call about my uncle, and Justin ended up being the one who put her to bed.
The next week was all crazy and sad and I had other things to deal with. I spoke to the assistant director when I had to arrange extra care for the girls so my parents could attend the funeral, but it was kind of a quick talk. There was so much other stuff going on that I decided to drop it and assume that Adriana was either exaggerating or was handled a little roughly and it made her eczema sore.
THEN, the saturday after it happened (which was a Monday), I was making a video of Adriana complaining about the eczema her back to show her dermatologist in case it wasn't flaring up when we go. With the iPhone light shining directly on the area, I saw she had a yellowish bruise RIGHT FUCKING WHERE she said the lady had pinched her.
I went in during my lunch the following Monday, and talked about the incident with both the director and the assistant director. I made it clear that it was absolutely not acceptable to me, and that I 100% believed Adriana and felt like I failed her by letting everything else that was going on that week trump getting the issue resolved. The director basically made everything worse by saying all the wrong things. She was so quick to jump in and say she believed it happened, that I kept thinking "then WHY did you hire her???" AND she totally outed herself as a racist, implying that skin color has anything to do with whether or not your the kind of person who would pinch a two year old hard enough to bruise them. Jesus.
Anyway, I ended up deciding that the girls would stay as long as this particular teacher was never alone with either one of them. They readily agreed to this, and I am pretty confident that they are holding up their end of the agreement. They also said that she would lose her job if anyone ever reported anything like this again.
I had another long talk with the assistant director [who I REALLY like], who told me that she looked the teacher right in the eye and truly believes she didn't do it. She was SUPER upset when she told me this, practically crying, so I just told her that it was okay that we believe different things about what happened.
OH and, as if all that wasn't enough, some moron parents were smoking pot in the parking lot last week. We walked out, and Adriana was like "I smell something. What's that smell?" What, indeed. I complained, and the daycare didn't hesitate to call the cops. At least they handled THAT right.
Meanwhile, I LOVE the new lady in the infant room. They have maybe 3 babies in there at any time, and Lucy is getting tons of attention. Adriana is getting moved to the 3 year old room early because she's such a good talker, and I like that lady so far. A friend of mine has been looking at daycares, and she said that ours is WAY nicer and WAY cleaner than all of the ones she looked at.
Once my parents are back in town, I think I am going to at least make the rounds in all of the other daycares to see if I can find one that would be a better option. But for now, they are staying put. It feels wrong, keeping them there after this happened, but I don't think that anywhere will ever feel right. God, I even have issues with the way my own PARENTS take care of the girls. And how can you ever know if someone is the kind of person who would pinch a kid? Why does it have to be SO HARD to get quality care for my babies? I have never wished harder for a daycare at work.