Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Bitching Around Work

What I really want to do is bitch ABOUT work, but I do like my job (most of the time, just not today), and also like being able to, you know, support my family. Instead, I will bitch AROUND work, which probably makes no sense to anyone who is not me. Here is a list of all of the things that bug me, that do not actually have any real substance and therefore (hopefully) won't get me fired.


  • This place is like fort knox at night. I was working late and I forgot my badge when I stepped out to pick up dinner. It took me 45 minutes to get back in (the security guard had stepped away and none of the people who were coming/going recognized me so they wouldn't let me in. Jerks.)


  • The vending machines take credit cards, but the cafeteria doesn't. You either have to carry cash at all times or get a gift card thingie that always seems to demagnetize when you have like $100 left on it. Then you have to sit there when the cashier types in the wrong number every single day and everyone else behind you gets pissy.


  • We used to have an ATM machine that a) only worked one out of three times and b) took about 18 minutes to get money out of. Now we have no ATM and I miss that POS.


  • All of the lights have motion sensors instead of good, old fashioned light switches. This has resulted in me sitting there, boobs hanging out while I wave my arms wildly in the dark ass pumping room.


  • I have bitched about the pumping room many a time, but let me reiterate. It sucks. And I am sorry if yours is worse, but lets all agree that ANY level of suckage is not acceptable, and that we ALL deserve pumping rooms that aren't in a bathroom or a conference room or behind a stack of files in an otherwise open area, with a fridge dedicated to milk and a locking door so the room is only accessible by other pumpers.


  • From April through September, the mulch smell is overpowering.


  • The landscapers also have a penchant for those bushes that smell like cat pee.


  • Casual fridays are stupid. If it's acceptable to wear jeans one day a week, it should be okay all of the days. We are grown adults, we promise to dress nice if we have a real meeting.


  • The internet filters are sexist. Tell me, powers that be, why is ESPN not blocked but pinterest is?


  • We are running a version of internet explorer that is so old google won't support it and now google reader doesn't work. In addition to that killing my ability to read blogs effectively, I actually do have a legitimate business need for it. UPDATE THAT SHIT!


  • Also under the "things I have already bitched about" category, all of the good parking spots are for hybrids or carpoolers. Our side of the building gets the shaft compared to the other lots. REDISTRIBUTE THAT SHIT!


  • While my office supply situation has dramatically improved since the last admin was in charge, it's still not ideal. Pretty post it notes and pens that actually write make my day infinitely better.


  • This building will be the first to blow away in the event of a tornado. There was an earthquake in VIRGINIA and our whole building swayed in OHIO. Like, a lot.


  • When it rains it sounds like we are in a tin can.


  • CREEPIEST DRAIN NOISES EVER, OMG. It did this when I was by myself, working late:

video

8 comments:

PinkieBling said...

Nicely done! Those are many sucky things, and I would bitch about them too, ESPECIALLY the pumping room. I would be really surprised if they got mad at you for it. I still have zero clue what industry you're in, let alone which company.

The company I work for is small (about 20 people), so it's hard for me to imagine security cards and cafeterias and ATMs. Crazy!

Lacey said...

Cracking up at the dark pumping room + boobs + arms waving around! Boo to work. And boo to the reason you had to be there so late! :P

Heather said...

Such a good point about casual Fridays. I agree, can't everyone be responsible and dress tasteful and casual?

And, pumping at work sucks no matter how you slice it. The part that gets me is that employers are legally obligated to provide a space... and so they do, but it's in a bathroom (where we're forced to listen to other people urinate!) or in a dirty ass office behind a dividing wall. RUDE. Someone once suggested I go pump in my car instead. Can you even believe?

Shalini said...

I raised the volume waaaaay up because I was all, "Noise? I can't hear a noise!" and then I practically jumped at the sound. Aaaaaaah.

Mama Tully said...

Ugh...all these little things would really grate on my nerves too. The pumping situation is super ridiculous...no lights = NOT okay!

Saly said...

I could have listed the majority of these things when I was in the office. GAH! My pumping room issue was having to kick people out who were holding meetings in it. SERIOUSLY!

And now you have me thinking about the filters...sexist indeed!!

Life of a Doctor's Wife said...

Okay, you are hilarious. And that is a lot of small shit that ADDS UP. GRRR!

(WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE DRAIN!?!?!)

Jessica said...

I should do this sometime - it would probably make me feel better, though I usually like my job as well.

I know I owe you a couple emails. I'll get to them, I promise!