Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Bank Rant

As you all know, I am working away from home this month.  Our out of town offices are located in a building also occupied by a major bank.  To avoid google-ability, we will call it Chafe Bank.  If it were my previous bank (Last Merit), I wouldn't care if people found my rant, since their service sucked.  But I actually rather like Chafe Bank, other than this one particular issue.

I bought my car in March of 2010.  At that time, Adriana was a mere 5 months old, we were closing on our house, I was starting a new role at work, and I was working on my MBA.  I was freaking busy.  So busy, in fact, that when I tried to set up autopay for my car loan and realized they set up the account under the wrong social security number (after many, many, MANY minutes on the phone with many, many, MANY individuals), I didn't really do anything about it. Fixing it required Chafe sending a claim form to my house, and me copying and faxing a bunch of information to them.  I am TERRIBLE with mail, and work faxes are all used by tons of people so I'm not a big fan of using them for personal reasons.  I figured I would have Chafe automatically deduct my monthly auto loan payment from my Chafe checking account, and I'd fix the account information later, in person. 

One baby, one degree, and craploads to do for work later, and it's still not fixed.  However, my trek to the hearing room (the purpose of these work travels) takes me through the lobby of Chafe bank on a daily basis, so I decided to take care of it over lunch.  And, uh, get a new copy of our joint debit card, which has been missing for like 8 months.  

The dude was able to get me a new debit card under the same number as my previous card, which was awesome because we have tons of accounts tied to that number and the thought of fixing them all was the very thing preventing me from getting a new card for the better part of a year.  

The dude was NOT able to fix the social security card thing, despite the fact that I a) have a valid license, proving my identity, b) have several other accounts with Chafe, which have the correct social security number, c) told him my accurate social security number, and the one-digit-off number that my auto loan was under, d) verified the day of the month and the amount that is deducted from my checking account to pay for the loan, e) verified a ballpark number left on the loan (but pointed out that I can't see my statements, since I can't access the account online), f) verified the make and model of the car, and g) verified the address we lived in when I bought the car (frying a few valuable brain cells in the process).  Oh, and h) my real last name is uncommon.  

They need my actual social security card to change the account.

Bitch, please.  Do you think that if I were the kind of upstanding citizen who knows where their social security card is, I would have waited TWO YEARS to stop improving the credit of the lucky bastard with the social security number one off from mine?  

So now I get to go through the painful process of getting a replacement social security card to bring to Chafe to fix a mistake that they ACKNOWLEDGE they made, and that really makes not a lick of difference to me on a day to day basis.  

This right here is EXACTLY why I procrastinate.  I am so freaking sick of all of the minutes of my life wasted on things that COULD be an easy fix, but instead take HOURS over multiple DAYS.  I can walk into Chafe and get a new copy of a debit card with the SAME ACCOUNT NUMBER by showing nothing more than my license, but they can't use the same ID to fix my account information for a loan.  What exactly do they think I'm doing?  Going around paying for other people's car loans just for kicks?

This whole situation chafes me.  


Suzanne said...

I am sorry for Chafe's incompetence and the hassle but I straight up SNORTED with laughter at this:

"Bitch, please. Do you think that if I were the kind of upstanding citizen who knows where their social security card is, I would have waited TWO YEARS to stop improving the credit of the lucky bastard with the social security number one off from mine?"

Also, I keep my social security card in my wallet, which is probably an EVEN WORSE plan than losing it all together.

Swistle said...

This would drive me wild. WILD.

Lacey said...

I am dying laughing. It's all dumb and I am pretty sure I either posted something the same or it's saved as a draft somewhere, but I feel the exact same way.

BUT, the thing that made me for real LOL was the fact that 'they really chafe you'. Bahahaa. Such a cheestastic joke and I should have caught on from the beginning but I so totally did not. I'm such a dork.

Navigating the Mothership said...

My husband also had a very similar problem recently with Chafe or maybe it was Chitti bank, can't remember. But basically it was THEIR mistake (someone randomly managed to accidentally type a credit card number belonging to us to buy $11 from amazon - we recognized it because we don't use that card) and yet it was on him to spend a bunch of time on the phone/getting disconnected BY THEM/calling back/etc etc. Major pain in the chass. And also debatable in terms of being worth it because $11. And yet - THEIR mistake.

I hear vaseline can help with chafing... ;)

Mama Bub said...

This is hilarious and also annoying. My husband's name is misspelled on Bub's birth certificate - THEIR FAULT - so we have an addendum attached to his birth certificate forever and always, unless we GO TO COURT to correct their mistake. Sorry kid, two page birth certificate it is for you!

Wiz said...

Like you, these are the things I am TERRIBLE at! I hate filling out forms, mailing, etc. I will procrastinate forever. I currently have $1500 in an FSA account that I am owed but have to appeal to get it and it has been such a PAIN. Yes its $1500 so I should be all over it, but to write a HANDWRITTEN appeal and send it off is just something I cant psyche myself up to do!

Oh and I am probably worse than you. I carry my SS card in my wallet so if it gets stolen, I am screwed.

Life of a Doctor's Wife said...

THIS. This is why I procrastinate too! It's SO HARD TO DO ANYTHING! I mean, I get and appreciate that things like banking need to have some layers of security. But do there really have to be 10,000 layers? That require physical visits AND phone calls AND mailing things in?

This is why my 401(K) is still under my maiden name, because it involves So Many Steps and they all have to be done during a specific time period and I already did ONE of the steps but then couldn't do the next step so the first step expired and GAH FTLOG WHY IS IT SO HARD?

d e v a n said...

Good grief! I'm surprised they didn't ask for a hair sample for a DNA test (although, at least you wouldn't have to go home and get that, haha) or your first born child!

Jessica said...

That's rediculous! What if the person who's social security number that is gets a copy of their credit report and reports the car loan as fraudulent use of their ssn? I suppose since it hasn't happened so far, that's good, but it still could.

Also, Life of a Doctor's Wife, my credit card is still in my maiden name. I've been married for 5 years. They require me to fill out a form, then mail in my original wedding license (which they'll supposedly return). No.