Wednesday, June 27, 2012

DMV Rant; Karma is a Bitch and I am an Idiot

There is really no way to tell this story without admitting that I am an idiot who tends to bring these things upon myself, but it so perfectly illustrates the kind of administrative BS that I was talking about during my bank rant that I have to share.  

I'm sure I mentioned  I REALLY REALLY hate mail (packages excluded, of course).  If Justin were to go on vacation without me, he would surely come home to an overflowing mailbox.  It would pretty much make my day if there was a national Do Not Mail list. My dining room table would also be pleased, as mail tends to pile up and hang out indefinitely until I go on a cleaning spree and chuck it all into a Random Crap Bin.  Basically, I feel the same way about mail as Swistle does about phones.    

In Ohio, your registration expires on your birthday each year.  You can get your new registration as early as 90 days in advance online, or about a month in advance by mail, and you have until 7 days after your birthday to renew it or you get a $20 fine.  

I wasn't aware of the online  option until now, or I obviously would have gone that route.  I have always renewed my registration by mail (seemed easy enough, since they send you a form to fill out and send back with your check).  And by "always", I mean up until June of 2010.  I never really got around to renewing my registration in June of 2011, so I have essentially gone for an entire year without a valid registration.  Which apparently is a minor misdemeanor.  I walk on the wild side.  

In my defense (there really is no defense), I honestly thought that I mailed in the check last June and that the new stickers/registration were hiding in some corner of my house, stuck in between 11 jillion applications for a Discover card or instructions on how to save money on car insurance.  But I was very pregnant in June of 2011, so what I think I will find (eventually) is a stamped envelope with a check for the registration, hanging out with some coupons for Similac and unused Babies R Us giftcards.  

Either way, NO REGISTRATION.  One of my coworkers has been making fun of me for my expired stickers for like a year, but I just couldn't care enough to deal with it, especially as more time passed and it got closer and closer to my next birthday.  I figured I'd either get a ticket or I wouldn't, and I'd pay up in June of 2012.  

Cut to June 26, which is exactly two days before my birthday.  I made the decision to renew my license and registration that day, since I will be in Columbus (boooo) for my actual birthday.  I thought I would come in to work early so I could take an extended lunch to sit in the ridiculously long lines at the license bureau.  Of freaking course, I was pulled over for speeding on my way into daycare.  I am 99% sure I was going to get a ticket anyway (the guy wasn't very friendly), but it sealed the deal when he saw my expired tags.  

This kind of thing ONLY happens to me.  Anyone else would have been caught MONTHS ago.  OF COURSE I got pulled over HOURS before I was going to rectify the situation.  

It only added $15 to my ticket, which I thought was low.  So low, in fact, that I joked to another coworker that maybe I'll just wing it again this year.

Yeah, I should know by now that these things should never be joked about, lest karma come bite me in the ass. 

Today I went to get my new license and registration (I couldn't go yesterday since my free time was sucked up getting a ticket).  Once the lady behind the counter figured out that I was a year overdue, she informed me that the system wouldn't let me get my 2013 registration; I'd have to pay for ONE DAY of 2012 registration.  I asked what would happen if I came in on my birthday instead, and was informed that it still wouldn't let me do it, that I'd have to come in on the 29th and get new plates entirely.  Which would require me to bring in my title.

If you know me at all by now, you know that I surely don't know where the blue fuck my title is.

I asked if I could pay the 2012 and 2013 today, just to be done with it.  Which you'd think would be the ideal situation for the BMV, no?  Getting people to do the right thing and pay what they owe?  Nope, she said I could pay 2012, but it still wouldn't let me do 2013 without getting the new plates.  So they are basically putting me in the position where I have to be out of compliance for another few days, and risking that I never come back, instead of taking the $100 I was willing to part with right then to make it right.  


SO.  Assuming that I won't be able to find my title, I now have to get another copy.  As you may recall, Chafe Bank would have the official title since I have my loan through them, so I'd need a memorandum copy.  I haven't yet figured out how to do that, but I bet you a million dollars that I can only get it from Chafe and that they will refuse to give it to me because it's under the wrong social security number.  



Mrs. Irritation said...

Their "logic" is ridiculous. Thanks, OHIO!

Mrs. Irritation said...

I also have to say I am impressed with your rebel tendencies. Having expired tags would cause me to lose sleep at night and not be able to function properly. I'm also the girl who can't go below quarter of a tank of gas without fear of running out. I'm a weirdo.

Laura Diniwilk said...

It's not so much being a rebel, it's more horrific procrastination, a deep seated hatred for any requirement I deem to be "bullshit" (okay, that's a little rebellious), and being the laziest person alive. Mostly the last one.

Swistle said...


Life of a Doctor's Wife said...

This has caused my brain to short circuit. ARGH.

Suzanne said...

Any chance the lady helping you was WRONG? Maybe go back and talk to someone more helpful? As if you have the time slash energy for that.

I went through something similar with an expired registration and paperwork and signed copies of things...and I am not proud to admit eventually I threw my hands up and told my husband he'd have to deal with it because I could not.

Heather said...

I hate, hate, hate dealing with things like this. Just reading about your experience makes me want to curl into a ball.

I'm with Suzanne - can you call and explain that you don't have the title and maybe talk to a manager (or someone who doesn't completely suck who works there)?

d e v a n said...

O.m.g. What a freakin' nightmare!