Monday, July 23, 2012

Snippy Snappy

I'm doing that thing where something happened over 24 hours ago and I'm still stewing about it and thinking up comebacks / rebuttal arguments.  Since I can't rant at the person who got all snippy snappy at me, I am going to do that here, in the hopes that I can get it out of my system.

The scene: Justin's dad's house.  A bunch of aunts, uncles, and cousins are sitting around the table, catching up and playing cards.  

The relevant characters: Me, obviously, and Justin's cousin's wife, who I will call Holly (Christmas birthday-themed name joke).  Oh, and Justin's cousin Bruce (Batman-themed name joke), but Holly is the snipper snapper.  

The topic: Bruce was discussing his type 2 diabetes and talking about how difficult it was to follow the diet.  I brought up how hard it was to follow the restricted foods/activities list for rosacea.  I was trying to a) relate to Bruce, because restricting yummy things is hard, and b) make a joke about how the list is entirely comprised of all things good in life (wine, coffee, chocolate, spicy food, warm baths, the sun etc. are all triggers for rosacea).  

The offense: Holly INSTANTLY jumped down my throat, saying that rosacea isn't the same as diabetes, because it is a LIFE THREATENING ILLNESS, and no one is going to DIE from having NOT COMPLETELY PERFECT SKIN.  She went on for a bit, but that was the gist.  

What I really wanted to say, but didn't, because unlike Holly, I don't make people look like assholes just for kicks (except on my blog):  Fuck you, Holly.  I have a masters in Biology and went to (some) medical school, I am well aware of the risks associated with Type 2 diabetes.  I was trying to empathize with your husband, who is an awesome dude, despite his questionable taste in women.  There is no reason to get all snippy snappy with me, and to try to make me look like an insensitive jerk in front of the entire family.  Also, I don't just have "not completely perfect" skin.  It's a legitimate condition that I didn't ask for and don't want.  I take super expensive oral and topical medicine to treat it, but I still have a crazy face.  I have to slather on shitloads of makeup just to look like a normal (albeit cakey) person, and, when I don't do that, I have to listen to people tell me that maybe if I just [insert advice that doesn't apply to rosacea], I wouldn't have skin problems, or ask me if I am sick or having an allergic reaction because I'm flushed.  I can't attend workout classes at the gym because they stop the class and ask me if I need a break because I look like I'm dying.  The teeniest bit of physical exertion or sun exposure makes me look like a tomato.  I have no ability to mask anger or embarrassment. And the list of restricted foods really does suck, which was the POINT of the CONVERSATION.  

My face on a GOOD skin day - no bumps/cysts, relatively little redness.  Behold the power of makeup.
Okay, I feel better. 

I find myself doing this more and more lately, and I'm not really sure what the deal is.  Do I need to get laid/massaged/pedicured more often?  Do I not have enough real problems? Maybe it's related to my anxiety?

Do you guys rehash conversations, or is it just me (and Swistle - I remember her saying she did this too)?


PinkieBling said...

Ugh. Why are people such dicks sometimes? I like to empathize and share stories, too, but I get worried that people will think I'm "one-upping" them. Conversation should not be this difficult!

The rosacea list really does suck!

Oh, and as far as rehashing conversations: a neighbor was rude to me a couple of months ago, and I plotted ACTUAL REVENGE for DAYS. (I may have been watching a little too much Sopranos at the time.)

Mama Tully said...

YESSSS! I hate that I do this, but when something get's under my skin it stays there and stews for days! Most recently, we were at the zoo and the kids wanted to take a train ride. So we got our tickets and waited at the little train ride bench. As the train approached HOARDS of people came running out of nowhere and jumped on the train as the previous riders exited. We didn't get a seat. After waiting for over 20 minutes with a 1 and 2 year old IN THE DESIGNATED SPOT TO WAIT FOR THE TRAIN, the train filled up with people who cut in front of us as we tried to wrangle our kids into some seats. And there was no one for us to hold accountable. L was sooo disappointed, which made it so much worse. I was STEAMING! And still am!! Grrrr!
I agree with the above commenter...people are dicks sometimes.

Swistle said...

Oh, man, I don't know WHAT it is, but I can't stop either. The pharmacy was snippy with me the other day even though I made it perfectly clear that I knew things weren't their fault, and I am STILL stewing a week later!

Suzanne said...

It would be something else if HE had jumped in and been snippy - still super douchey but more understandable. But for HER to be a dick about it is stupid. I would probably never forgive her. No, seriously, never. My SIL did something rude at my rehearsal dinner (EIGHT YEARS AGO) and every time I see her it still annoys me.

My husband and his mom both have rosacea and it SUCKS. In high school I had terrible acne and was on Accutane for months - it meant my face was ALWAYS bright, bright red. The kids called me tomato face. I cried. So what I'm saying is I feel your pain.

Emily said...

I do this too. I get so annoyed with myself for getting my panties in a wad about nothing, but I still can't let it go.

Erin said...

Ugh, I still rehash stuff that happened YEARS ago. One of my favorite things to do in moments of emotional weakness is to sit down and think about what I should have said/not said during past breakups. (I have issues, clearly.)

Saly said...

This reminds me of Seinfeld. "The jerk store called, and they're running out of YOU!"

Cousin's wife is a dick. Hopefully you can get past it.

Erica said...

I'm a world-class stewer.

Jessica said...

It's rather ironic how her ignorance about rosacea caused her to be a jerk about what she perceived as your ignorance about diabetes (even though it was not). Perhaps look at yourself first, lady. I mean, I never really knew how bad rosacea was until I started reading your blog, but at least I didn't go around telling people it was nothing.

Also, the 'who has it worse' game is stupid.

Lacey said...

You are beautiful with and without the makeup! :)

Also, people are stupid & jerks.

The best thing about having a blog is coming up with all the "I should have saids" after the fact so at least SOMEone can enjoy your less than timely wittiness and humor.

Megan said...

Ugh, what a bitch. I'm sorry she jumped all over you. I hate people that do that. They find ANY reason to get all up on their high horses. What did her husband say when she did that?? I know it's easy to say "just forget about her, she's a bitch" and it actually sucks and is hard to forget.