Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Bring Back The Words: Week 10...Why I'd Never Name My Kid Amanda

I have been wanting to participate in Ginger's Bring Back the Words link up, and decided to actually get off my butt and do it this week.  I figure I spend enough time telling you about my hobby/obsession, so I went with the other one.  

Prompt 2:
School is starting for a lot of people these days. Tell us your most memorable “back to school” related story.
I don't really remember the first day of preschool or kindergarten, but I do remember my first day of first grade.  It was a new school, the one I would attend for the next 8 years.  It was the same school my older brother went to.  It was the first time I would ride a school bus, attend a full day of school, eat lunch in a cafeteria.  I don't remember being nervous, I think I was more excited than anything (nerd alert).  

The first day of school, everyone gathered in the cafeteria to find out their class assignment.  This wasn't just for first graders; even the older kids didn't know which teacher they would get until the first day of school.  I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wanted the same teacher my brother Nick had, Mrs. Buchor.  Thankfully, she called my name and I got to stand in her line.  Best day ever!!

We started to leave the cafeteria, but then there was a bunch of shouting.  Someone forgot their lunch on the cafeteria table!  Burning with shame, I snatched my bag out of the bigger kid's hand and ducked back in line, my eyes focused on the floor.  

The rest of the day went by without a hitch, until...I met my arch nemesis, Amanda C.  Have I ever shared to you my theory that no decent human being has ever been named Amanda?  Seriously.  Every Amanda I have ever met is an evil bitch.  Mandys are even worse, since they are a bitch with a side of slut, usually pointed in the direction of my nearest boyfriend.  I fucking hate Amandas.  Every last one of them.    

And it all started the first day of first grade.  What horrible offense did Amanda C. do to forever tarnish my opinion of her and every Amanda to come?  She snottily made fun of me for coloring outside the lines.  I looked over at her paper, which was neatly filled in with such a light touch that the colors looked pastel, and then over at mine, my dark strokes jumping over the lines by a full inch in some places.  Shit.  I really did color outside the lines.  I stared at my paper and felt my cheeks grow hot for the second time that day.  

I really am a world champion grudge holder.  28 years later, and I am still pissed off that Amanda C. ruined my first day of first grade.  I thought I would never outlive the shame of leaving behind my lunch bag, but only a few hours later, an Amanda embarrassed me a hundred times more than Lunchgate ever would.  Fucking Amandas.

[Side note: Amanda C. got held back that year, so I win at first grade, lack of coloring ability notwithstanding.]

Is it really weird that those two incidents are what stands out the most in my mind?  Come to think of it, 99% of my memories from first through eighth grade are ones in which I was burning with shame.  I am pretty sure my grade school experience was everyone else's high school experience, which must have been why I loved high school so much.  

Do you participate in Ginger's link ups?  What are you waiting for?  DO IT!

And what names are forever ruined for you?  Inquiring minds want to know.  

1 comment:

saly said...

Abby! Slutty Slutty Abby! There was a girl who worked at the movie theater with Ed back when we were dating. She was still in high school and he would have been 24 (ish--it was a long time ago) at the time. Anyway, she was obsessed with him and Ed was oblivious...thought she was just a good kid etc.

Anyway, she started emailing him after he left the theater and would sign her emails all "love you!" and "miss you!" with hearts and flowers and shit. I...well...I may have gone a little bit psycho on her. To the point where I still have a reputation as being crazy with anyone that Ed still knows from that time.