Monday, April 7, 2014

Judgy Judys

So, you know how there are Negative Nancys and Debbie Downers?  I think we need to create a new class of People Who Suck called Judgy Judys.  I don't know if I'm extra sensitive lately or if the fact that spring is still totally not happening is making people pissy, but there have been a plethora of Judgy Judys all getting up in my business lately and I am so very tired of it. 

Judgy Judy #1:  This is not one specific person, this is actually basically EVERY PERSON in my life upon finding out that my car was broken into a couple of weeks ago (right in my driveway).  After the background questions were taken care of like what was stolen (my work laptop bag, which had a laptop, my ipad, some chargers, my planner, and some pens in it) and if everyone was okay (yes), SO MANY PEOPLE instantly transformed into a Judgy Judy and gave me crap for leaving that stuff in my car in the first place.  Dude, I am almost 35 years old.  I KNOW that I shouldn't leave expensive electronics in my car, even if it is just in my driveway.  I totally agree that my neighborhood isn't that safest, that is why we set our alarm every day and night.  Trust me, it is no picnic having to tell work that I lost a company laptop along with a bunch of stuff that wasn't backed up on the shared drive, not to mention dealing with the broken glass and car repairs.  I JUST FORGOT.  IT HAPPENS.  Stop lecturing me, Judgy Judy.

Judgy Judy #2:  So I have this coworker who is either intentionally rude or just not aware of the fine line between sarcasm and bitchiness, but I usually let it slide because it's just not worth the drama.  However, I do take personally when the jabs are related to parenting, especially when she is not a parent and therefore has no idea what she is talking about.  Another coworker was talking about how his flight back from Orlando was awful because there was a bunch of kids bouncing off the walls, fresh off a Disney trip.  I said that if it was any consolation, the parents probably hated it just as much as he did because I'm still scarred from flying solo with the girls when they were 1 and 3.  She jumped in with a diatribe about how kids are awful and how SOME PEOPLE just need to learn how to control them, and how if she misbehaved as a kid she got her butt beat.  We have had conversations in the past about how one year olds don't tend to stop crying in response to beatings, but she loves to say stuff like this any time I make the slightest comment about my kids acting up.  Somehow the conversation even went to how her cat "knows who is boss".  Because kids and cats are totes the same.  Anyway, I don't think anyone who has never had the experience of having your own kids freak out in public gets to be a Judgy Judy.  It's torture, I promise. 

Judgy Judy #3: This is sort of related to the previous one.  We were at dance class this week, and Adriana got kicked out during the last few minutes in class because she hit someone.  This is the first incident like this in a long time - she has actually been doing really great.  I was not happy about the backslide.  I made sure she had apologized to the girl and her teacher, and told her she had to go to time out as soon as we got home.  As I was packing her stuff up, both of my girls started doing chin ups on the door.  I told them to get down and continued packing.  Another mom actually physically put her arms around Adriana and held her close, talking in her ear loudly about how little girls have to listen.  In my head I was like HELL NO don't touch my kids, but in reality was so surprised I didn't really react other than to pull Adriana to me and get the fuck out of there.  As we were leaving, the mom started smacking her two year old's hand and saying "See?  You were bad so I am giving you a spanking.  Because that's what we do when kids are bad.  You'll listen better next time, won't you?"  And of course she was looking at me to make sure her message about how I should parent my kids was sinking in.  Because, you know, hitting my kid would TOTALLY teach her hitting is wrong.  ARGH. 

Judgy Judy #4:  Justin and I were driving the girls around this weekend in an attempt to achieve the glorious synchronized child nap.  We went to an ice cream place and I got a banana split.  The kid next to me asked his mom what it was, and she said "It's A LOT of ice cream."  That alone wouldn't have really bothered me, but she totally shot me a look of disgust at the same time.  First of all, I was going to split it with Justin.  Second of all, I hadn't had one in forever, and banana splits remind me of getting engaged so they make me happy.  Third of all, it's not YOUR ASS that has to pay the consequences, so back off, JUDGY JUDY!!! 

Tell me your Judgy Judy stories below, so we can all get irate on each other's behalf.  I know you have a good one. 


Erica said...

These are all so bad. I used to have male coworkers give me pregnancy advice. Ugh. Down with judgy judys.

Pirate Flag & Island Girl said...

How about...Laura, are you okay after getting your car broken into? (Seriously, are you?) Geesh. That's rough and enough to deal with.

There's one woman who, actually, Hubs and I came to agreement over this past weekend that we will no longer do couples things with her and her husband and, while he will still hang out with her husband, I will not hang out with her anymore-she judges EVERYONE, and I know because she is talking about EVERYONE else to me that she is probably talking about me to EVERYONE else. My house (which is perfect, considering we have two bedrooms and zero non-furry children)is smaller than hers, I CHOOSE to work (WHY ON EARTH WOULD I DO THAT?), her car is better than mine, etc, etc. She regularly compares these sorts of things in an, "I'm looking down on youuuuuuuu" fashion-which is why I'm done. UGH.

I seriously believe they will get theirs, though. Seriously.

Tara said...

I'm having a hard time choosing just one instance. Or narrowing it to a few. Let's just see how far I get.

1. I was recently reminded of the "friend" who publicly chastised my parenting, but doesn't vaccinate her children.

2. My upstairs neighbors thought I was the BIGGEST lazy bum for a few months since I would take Eriana to school, then come home every day. One day I let it "slip" that I was a grad student and they were much nicer to me afterward.

3. A coworker consistently brings in sweets and treats and offers them to everyone in surrounding cubicles except me, then makes comments about calorie count if I have something like a piece of cake on birth month day.

4. Different coworker is recently divorced with seven (SEVEN) children, more than half of whom chose their dad, and regularly makes comments about the relationships of others, mine being an easy target since my husband works in the same company. "You've been married how long? Yeah, I remember those good old days." As if my marriage will fail simply because hers did.

5. Passive aggressive judgers: other parents who help my kid at the park. SHE CAN DO IT HERSELF LET HER TRY I AM RIGHT HERE HOLY CRAP.

I probably have more.

Misty said...

Wow, these are enough to make me hide. How horrible!

Mama Tully said...

Ugh…people are the worst.

k said...

Holy crap on a cracker. Some people are such dinks.

Pickles and Dimes said...

I am cringing at ALL of these. Yikes! I hate how people make assumptions without knowing anything about the circumstances.

A few weeks ago, I was on a treadmill at the gym. The trainer kept yelling out different intervals (increase your speed, up your incline, etc.) but I kept walking. The woman kept giving me the side eye every time we were supposed to switch. Afterwards she said to me, "Wow, I wish I could've taken it easy like you."

OH I'M SORRY. I TORE MY CALF MUSCLE AND CAN'T RUN FOR 6 WEEKS. THANKS FOR RUBBING IT IN. (Also, when I'm finally back to running? I am going to run right next to her and make sure I run faster/farther than her. Then I'm going to say: "Wow, I took it pretty easy today.") Because that's how I roll :)

P.S. My CAPTCHA word is "Mean." HA!

Shannon said...

Don't feel bad about leaving your stuff in the car. The two times (and only two times) I forgot to lock my car, stuff was stolen from it. Talk about bad luck. Sh*t happens.

And you are totally on the money with people shouldn't judge public toddler tantrums until they experience their own. Before I had kids, I, of course, had all sorts of ideas about child raising and discipline. And for the most part, I still follow those ideas. But what I didn't realize was how resistant some toddlers are to discipline! Ha!

I can't think of any Judgy Judy instances of late, but the one that always got me was the looks I would get bottle feeding my baby in the parent/baby classes. Everyone else breastfed and didn't even do bottles. I couldn't produce enough milk, so we had to do formula. I felt like the scourge of the earth. :/

Lacey said...

Oh my goodness I want to stab each of those judgers in the eyes! I will think of approximately 654987 examples I could have shared right after I hit the publish button below, but as of this second I can think of none. :/

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

No judging here. But your first Judgey Judy story about your car reminded me of a friend. She parked her car in her condo's garage (so, shared space, but random strangers can't just walk up to her car). Someone not only broke into her car and stole her work laptop, but they also left a paper bag of poop. Talk about vile!