Friday, November 7, 2014

Damn Threenagers

As you may have gathered from my title, Lucia is driving me insane.  It's funny because Adriana gets in trouble way more than Lucia, but when I think back on the worst things my kids have ever done, it's ALWAYS the little one who comes to mind.  I have had to paint three walls because of this kid, whereas the worst thing Adriana ever did was cut herself a surprisingly adorable little side bang.  Lucy is also SUPER SNEAKY, always hiding things behind her back and taking sips of my pop when she thinks I'm not looking.  I need to remember to cut Adriana some slack. 

Last night I was prepping 10 dinners because I'm going to this Wildtree freezer party thingie tonight (I am really excited about it actually...apparently I just LOVE ME a good multi level marketing scheme!)  Anyway, it involved touching way more chicken than any human should possibly have to suffer through, so before I started I took off my rings, watch, bracelet, and fitbit and stuck them on the dining room table.  It's not a very high traffic room so I didn't really think twice about it (but I am guessing you can see where this is going). 

Justin was supposed to be watching the girls but he came in to save me from some especially potent onions that were making me cry.  After he was done chopping we kept chit chatting in the kitchen.  The kiddos started fighting so he went to check on them and LO AND BEHOLD Lucy had snuck into the dining room and stolen my jewelry.  Adriana was wearing my engagement ring (because while she may not be the instigator, she is an excellent partner in crime...maybe I won't cut her that slack after all).  Lucia said she was wearing the wedding ring but it fell off. 

We spent HOURS searching and my ring is still missing. 

Then this morning I made the mistake of taking two minutes to myself in the bathroom, only to find that Lucy was now covered in ink.  The tops of her feet were almost entirely blue, and she had lines down her right hand and over her fingers. 

[SIDE NOTE...It just occurred to me as I was writing this that both of these incidents could have been avoided if we still had the gate on the living room door.  I had a party a few weeks ago and took it down, but maybe I just have the kind of kids who need to be in baby jail at all times.]

Anyway, I was about to put Lucia in time out, and then it occurred to me...she is right handed.  So both of the girls were interrogated, and they both kept insisting that the other did it.  I gave them a lecture about the importance of honesty, and Adriana starting crying and said "I don't knoooooooow...sometimes I forget things!  Maybe I did do it and I don't remember." 

Now this is a line that she has used in the past when she was guilty and didn't want to admit it, but something was telling me that she didn't do it.  So I looked back at Lucy and asked her again.  That little shit sweet daughter of mine looked me right in the eye and insisted that Adriana did it and that she was telling the truth. 

So we got in the car and headed to daycare.  Then I did something that I never ever EVER thought I would do pre-children.  I played the Santa card.  After suggesting that maybe a call to Santa would straighten things out, Lucia started LAUGHING AT ME and said "Sorry, Mama!  It was me!"

I told her I forgave her but that it hurt my heart that she didn't tell me the truth.  After a minute or two, Adriana also said she forgave her for blaming her, so I thought that it was nice that at least SOMEONE was paying attention to my mama lessons. 

But ACK.  I forgot how obnoxious little three year olds can be.  The constant limit testing, the rages, the lying...if two year olds are like tiny drunks, three year olds are tiny sociopaths.  Aside from tagging my walls, Lucy was an especially sweet baby and toddler, but I get the feeling that I'm going to pay for that now. 

Anyway, I'm really bummed about my ring.  Does anyone have a good lost wedding ring story?  I remember cheering when Swistle found hers, and my brother lost his saving my SIL when they were rafting this summer and she went overboard (which, if you have to lose your ring, saving your wife's life is totally the way to go). 

Update: I went back and read the story of how Swistle lost her ring and there are ZILLIONS of awesome lost ring stories in the comments.  It was a fun read...probably re-read but I have swiss cheese brain. 


craftyashley said...

I lost my engagement AND wedding ring packing. I figured it out a couple hours after the fact, but in that time I had boxed up two closets and a bedroom, so tons of boxes. I searched the carpets meticulously and then got really desperate and unpacked all the boxes as much as I could to try and find it. Nothing. I hoped I had just misplaced it, set it down, and would find it before me moved- I'm sure the new owners wouldn't return it if found in the house as it seemed like an investor who would just rent it out anyway. As we left the house for the last time I was a mess really hoping it was in a box, but resigning myself to the fact that they might just be gone forever. Before this gets too long, I unpacked and it wasn't found. Until six months later, when I got to the back of a storage closet, and found my rings at the bottom of a very heavy box full of papers. A few prongs were broken or bent, but there was still tons of celebrating that night. I hope you find yours!

Julie said...

I have 2 stories. When I was little (maybe 4), my mom lost the diamond from her engagement ring. We combed the house for days (children are short and make excellent servants) and came up with nothing. Then about 5 days into the search, I walked into a room, looked down, and plucked the diamond right off the top of the carpet, easy peasy.

A couple of years ago, my husband was tossing a football with our little boy in the field behind his mother's house. When they came back in, his wedding ring was missing. In a giant field. We looked for awhile, but I started making plans to budget for a new ring in my mind. After we went home, my BIL went out in to the field with a metal detector and actually found it.

I'm keeping hope yours will turn up. And you'll have a great story to go with it.

Brittany said...

Three year olds are tiny sociopaths. I have one of those too.

My lost ring story.. We were moving our bedroom furniture around. I had taken my ring off because I was paranoid I would scratch the furniture or the stone. Anyway, I take it off and put it on my dresser in this ring holder. We get done rearranging and I can not find my ring. We looked for YEARS. We recently took a shelf down to paint the walls and my ring was wedged in between the shelf and the wall. No idea how that one happened.

april said...

My engagement ring disappeared from my nightstand about six months ago, and I tore up my room looking for it. about a week later it showed up in the boys' room, so I can only assume they walked off with it.

I really don't know how any of us survive three, really.

april said...

OH! And I know this is a husband lost his ring story and not exactly what you had in mind, but my husband lost his ring during Hurricane Sandy. We were at the mall, God knows why - oh wait, we decided we couldn't be cooped up and went to see a movie. So as we were at the mall, the eye passed close and we had late lunch at Grimaldi's, waiting for the rain to be not-terrible enough to leave. We finally went to the car when the water was up to my knees because it at least wasn't windy and we were over being out. C went to put Henry in the car, pulled his arm out from under him and WEEEEE! His ring went FLYING through the parking lot. I spent 10 minutes trying to search in the parking lot/lake before giving up.

That was two years ago? He finally ordered a new ring this week.

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